By Sehrish Naudhani
I have been watching and hearing the news of bomb blasts, riots and violation on the face of earth on television and newspaper. But on June 15th, 2013, I heard a disastrous sound with a blow of air. It was approximately 2:25 p.m. I ran outside to see what had happened. Someone told me that it was the sound of bomb blast in our own university.
I heard the sounds of shrieks and bitter cries of girls. I ran to see the place of accident, but I saw girls running toward my side in order to take refuge, and stopped from going closer to the place where the blast had taken place because of the fear of another explosion. I saw thick black smoke in the air as if it has taken some innocent soul in its monstrous lap. I saw the tears out of fear, I saw blood stained uniforms of girls, and I saw my class fellows crying. I was stunned. I wanted to go and help the injured girls, but my roommates stopped me from going there. The thing that I regret the most is I did not and could not go to help the victims.
I heard sirens of ambulances. I was running here and there. I did not know what to do or what not to do. I took two bottles of water to give to girls who had seen the victims. I saw their parents running helplessly in the premises of university, crying for their daughters, calling their names, beseeching us to help them finding their lost daughters.
In the evening I gathered some courage and went to see that place again. The whole coaster had been burnt, another coaster standing behind it was also damaged and stained with blood of innocent girls. Although it had been washed, it still smelled of blood and flesh appeared on its top. What I saw also included pieces of uniform stained with blood, student bags, notebooks with assignments, projects and their registers were lying there half burnt, providing the stroke that hits the vein. I saw death; I heard death; I felt death.
How would you feel if someone slaps you on the face? How would you feel if a dirty housefly or a fatal mosquito sits on your face? How would you feel if the cells of skin are damaged leaving a scar on your face? How would you feel if Lilliputian’s army fights a battle on your face? Have you ever wondered that we are ruining our common platform, we and our generations have to live on it, how much we care for our families and our relatives Then why do we not think that by killing innocent people we are destroying homes and families?
Women, who are respected the most in Islam, were killed so brutally in the bomb blast on a coaster of Sardar Bahadur Khan womens’ university Quetta. Their bodies were torn into pieces, they were burnt alive, and their dead bodies are beyond recognition…
Life is not a game of cards; you make a mistake, then fold the deck and start over. Life is not a game of chess, once defeated and again started over. Life is not a death race; once your car is burnt you will get it repaired. Because once you do something can’t be undone. Life does not depend on any remote control or any restart button. Whatever is done, the lives we have lost, the peace we have lost; is a greatest loss, it can’t be undone. But many things can be learnt from this loss.
Here I am writing a word of solace for those who are surviving with a pain of loss in their hearts: previously I was writing this essay for others but now I am writing it to console my own pain. I and my whole university lost many beautiful flowers of its garden; here I want to lessen the pain of my university fellows and of those panic families who have lost their daughters because the best way to forget my own troubles is to help someone else with theirs. The loss of lives of our dear ones or the lifetime disorder caused by our own specie to us results in four letter word ‘pain’; it’s of two kinds; physical and spiritual, physical pain can be healed by medicine but as far as pain which our soul feels is concerned can’t be healed by worldly medicine, this pain needs a word of solace to get healed…
The first beautiful way of releasing pain is our beautiful religion, prostrate before Allah, ask capital H.I.M (Him) to rest the souls of decreased ones in peace, and beseech Him to grant you ‘inner peace’, as a result you might not get exactly what you asked for, but for sure you will get whatever is best for you at the right time. We should not mourn at the loss because martyrs never die death is a bitter reality which everyone has to face and no one can deny it. We have no control on it as we cannot escape from it.
In order to release such pain we need an outlet for our sorrows which are penetrating into our heart and ruining our mind. The purpose of this essay is to give catharsis to dejected ones; as sweat is the outcome of physical exercise, similarly tears are the outcome of emotional effort, so let your tears shed until there is no tear left in your eyes. The more you tell your painful story to your well-wishers and caretakers the more you will release pain, and become stronger. Once you tell your story to one person, you are left with no new words to tell it to others. You get fed up of telling the same stories. For this purpose we need good listeners who can absorb other’s painful talks. If I am listening to someone’s story, I will lose nothing, but the person who is telling me his/her story will surely lose some blades of pain. Now the painful memories will not haunt them, when they are alone the silence will not be as aloud as it was before. As a result we can make a caring society.
As we know there are recycling industries which recycle the waste products into refined ones. Similarly your sorrows are like waste products, but you can refine them. Don’t let your sorrows drown you. Use them to deepen you, humble and soften you. Use them to build your empathy and compassion for the world. Your sorrow was never meant to overtake you; like everything else in life, it is only a tool to beautify and strengthen you.
Now this time is for greatest change. When you are at your lowest point, when you are hit the hardest, when you are fallen into darkness; it’s the time when you are open to the greatest change. Strength doesn’t come from what you can do, it comes from overcoming the things you thought you couldn’t do. So let’s overcome our weaknesses and strengthen ourselves to stand strong and change our lives. We are sufferers, we are suffering from the pain of loss, and we are suffering from the pain of injuries of our loved ones. For me suffering is not a punishment, and similarly joy is not a reward. They are just the realities of this human condition. We should learn lessons from this life. Life isn’t easy, it’s just meant to be lived…sometimes happy, other times sad. But with every up and down we learn lessons through experience that make us stronger and wiser.
Let’s think about love and imagination; love doesn’t cost a single rupee, I believe true love exists in every heart; we just have to give it a stimulus to bring it out, show the world that you have such a precious jewel, the jewel of love. This jewel is not the diamond that you place on a loved one’s finger or one that is put on yours which may have helped cut off the finger or hand of a child in Africa, for which here you pay money but there people pay for their lives. Love is the greatest weapon, which can change minds, love has the power to forgive, love can cause good omen, love can remove the bitterness, keep love in your hearts; it will heal the wounds of people, love will help you to get rid of bitterness, and it will help you overcome fear. Any human who is loving will be guaranteed respect because respect loves love. We need to love and respect ourselves as well as others. Some say imagination hurts, some say imagination has nothing to do with reality, but I say this whole world is imagination, as we imagine our life to be perfect; we strive to make it perfect. Imagination is happiness; imagination is the remedy to sorrowful life. Do not burden yourself with mysteries just allow your imagination to get the best of you. Change your mind to reflect positive and healing thoughts, and in turn, change the negative things around you to help bring you peace and comfort.
Let’s talk about thinking and feeling; it’s a common concept that we think from our mind and feel from our heart. But I say our mind performs both of these functions; people have categorized these functions in such way because they think feeling is not something intellectual, so they say it’s the work of some organ whose original function is to pump the blood just like a machine that works in routine. Every human being is filled with some energy, if the person is utilizing this energy to make things right, it’s called positive energy whereas if person is utilizing it to make things wrong, it’s called negative energy. This energy directly affects our thinking process. Try your best to stay away from negative people and opinions. The energy has a shift when someone speaks negatively, and that shift can affect your thinking faculty. Stay positive despite all adversity. When you will stay positive, it will affect your feelings positively. You will feel positive and will get inner peace. Such feelings will lead you towards happiness which for me is a golden key that only few of us possess. Appreciate whatever life has given you, and thank Allah for every blessing that is bestowed upon you. If you fail to appreciate what you already have, happiness will never knock your door.
The last but not the least pathway towards healing pain is “HOPE”. Hope is light, light is knowledge and knowledge is enlightenment. You must be willing to open your heart over and over despite life’s hardest and devastating knocks and unpredictable obstacles. There’s no getting out of the darkness until you let in some light of hope.
Now walk forward and choose among fear and wisdom to walk along. You have to step forward and walk for freedom of spirit. You can travel hundreds of paths in your life, but you would gain no wisdom because your eyes are closed. The real test of spirit comes from choosing to walk the roads placed before you with eyes wide open, head up, looking forward, accepting harsh realities of life and leaving your real enemy “fear” behind. Real growth happens when you choose to walk forward into the unknown and ask your wisdom to walk with you. You have the power to turn your wounds and worries into wisdom; you just have to do something about them. You have to accept what has happened and use what you’ve learned to step forward. Everything you’ve experienced has given you the upper hand for dealing with everything you have yet to experience. Realize this and set yourself free.
Republished in The Balochistan Point on June 27, 2013